Me on the left with my friend JJ on the right!

So this may or may not be the place but I have decided that I need to make a change!  I will be 40 soon and I am not living the most healthiest of lifestyles.  I am pretty sure it is time for a big difference in my life.  You see, I have been an on and off smoker for many years.  I quit for 4 years, the longest of my time.  Since then ( about 12 years ago) I have been quitting for months at a time and then starting again.  Well, I am sure all previous and current smokers can tell you why.  It totally consumes you.  Your life really depends on it and all you can think about is when you can get your next cigarette.  I have to remind myself that I am NOT the freak that people think I am because if I was....then nobody else would be in the same situation as I am.  Wanting to quit, knowing I should quit, and realizing when I don't smoke, I am the happiest?  So why is it that I feel the urges to start smoking?  I know that I feel good about myself when I don't....I know I smell better to my husband when I don't....I know I can(aaahh hhumm) last longer when I don't and so on and so on...I really don't know why I am saying all of this but maybe, just maybe I am going to use this as my excuse to do something about the changes I want to make as I turn 40.  If I just think them and do nothing, then guess what....NOTHING CHANGES.  But maybe, if I write it out I will get the courage to DO SOMETHING!  At this time, I have NOBODY watching my blog and I really shouldn't care if anyone does.  My main concern should be me and changing what I want.  So, with that being said.....this is my affirmation that I will NOT BE THIS UNHEALTHY at AGE 40!  Watch for the changes.....God, be with me!